I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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