omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
