I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
