And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize