I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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