so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
