Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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