He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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