i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There's always time for handjobs
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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