pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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