Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
