4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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