I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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