dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
