did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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