hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
