he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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