i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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