its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
