What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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