I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
