either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
