I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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