You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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