Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
