Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize