I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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