I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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