Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
