So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
