just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
