How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
