I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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