I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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