:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
