Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
