If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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