Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
