Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
