She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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