plz talk dirty to me
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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