She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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