she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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