Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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