i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
