the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
