cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
