you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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