We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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