it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
