sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
