Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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