I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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