RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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