ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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