Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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