i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
