Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
