if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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