There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Randomize
