woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
