Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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