No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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