I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
