whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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