So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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