Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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