I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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